5 Reasons Why Bass Players Don't Smile

It happens every Sunday and a whole lot of Saturday nights. The praise band is playing an excellent, soul-moving set. Around the congregation, hands are raised and eyes closed (with an occasional peak at the screen to be reminded of the words.) The worship leader/guitar player has a thoughtful, yet fulfilled look on his face. The female vocalist is obviously having a spiritual moment. The drummer is having some kind of moment, at least as far as drummers are concerned. But the bass player? He has all the passion and intensity of standing in line at the DMV. He’s not bored. He’s not angry. He’s not distracted. He’s just . . . there. What gives? Is there some unwritten rule of conduct that demands bass players stand emotionless as they strum their four strings? Or is something else at work? After a significant investment of time and energy (about the last ten minutes,) I think I know the answer.

1. They only get to play one note at a time. Yep, for all the combinations of chords, transitions, harmonies and melodies taking place on stage, our poor bass player is relegated to a single, plucked sound. A simple dot on the staff. They have talent, but the challenge has passed them by. They show up. They play. They go home. In essence, one step above the guy playing the cow bell.

2. Their family wants to talk about cousin Julie. She plays the harp. It’s gotta hurt. Never mind the fact that the guy is part of a worship team that leads a thousand people to the throne of the Almighty every single week. Mom just doesn’t get that. At Sunday dinner, rather than offer a compliment on the morning’s music, she says, "Oh, it was nice dear. But say, did you hear about your cousin’s middle school recital? Beautiful, just beautiful! There must have been at least a dozen parents there.. I bet the angels themselves stopped by to listen!"

3. Printed music for worship songs never begins ‘play with a boogie-woogie feel.’ There is music out there that gives the bass player a chance to show us his chops (probably written by other bass players,) but our guy never gets to see it. By and large, it seems church music today is pretty contemplative and thought-provoking. Somehow ‘eight-to-the-bar’ gets left out of the Sunday morning mix.

4. Guitars and keyboards get the solos. Even the drummer, to the delight of the congregation, gets an occasional spotlight. But nobody ever says, ‘And now, here’s Ted on bass. Take it away Ted!’ Whatever ‘it’ is, Ted will not get to take it.

5. Nobody has a list of the ‘10 Greatest Bass Players Of All Time.’ Well, to be fair, there actually are such things. (I Googled it.) But unless you’re really into bass playing, I doubt you’ve heard of any of them. Except for Paul McCartney. But I’m pretty sure it’s not his bass playing skills that make him stick out in your mind.

So, to all the bass players out there who watch as the rest of us raise our hands and partially close our eyes, thank you. You might be the Rodney Dangerfields of Christian music, but we love you. We know and we understand: we need you. We have to have you. Without you, bad things would happen. You are the underlying foundation that brings us all together. So play that one note. Play it with pride. Play it for Jesus. And maybe, just once in awhile, let the smile come through. After all, you could be playing the cow bell.

Measure Twice,

DLB

(Thanks, Whitney, for being the exception!)